Decisions decisions..


PFFFFFF… so we all know we act like we are adults but aren’t HAHA i know right?! So here it goes , i have to decide if ofcourse work officially says the yes that i need to move to another city. The thing is we are opening a new shop in another city again we got loads with my work is not far is like an hr away which that’s alright by me but at the same time i’m overthinking the situation that i’ve done my cycle here i got my people everything blah blah.. But in the of the day i’m supposed to be a person that LOVES travelling which i am but is always temporary that’s why i love in a way i guess.

Although in the city i’m probably going to move i’ve been there all the times mostly every weekend lets say to party or to see my friends and stuff and i know it by heart where to go and what to do so that’s not a problem that i need to make new friends or new life cause is kinda in my life anwyay, is just the effort of changing a different vibe of city that its way better than here kinda and i will definitely enjoy it more but i will probably go for sure and its a 95% of yes and 5% maybe or a no. The think that actually stops be a bit is that i don’t want to leave my partner behind but if he feels like he wants to stay here i will go cause in the end of the day we have to lift each other up is like my last post that i said when you inspire people you need to make them go a level up always and that’s what i want to my partner as well i want him to succeed. But yeah decisions need to made as soon as possible cause life is short if i don’t actually want to move i can still stay here.

I hope that everyone that has a decision to take will do it because they want to do it and not let anyone to take them down because they think they need to stay back. IF you think your future is depending on it and you will do better go for it, i’m not gonna lie and say everything will be fine but we all know that at the start is difficult until you get used to it but that’s okay. I have a friend she wanted to go to do her career in a different city and at the start she was kinda afraid to go away and actually do it which i totally understand i am the same but lets be honest if you dont try and go you will never know if you succeeded or not but she actually seems she it doing it as in finding opportunities and will go for it. And i’m happy to say and believe she will definitely succeed of getting where she needs to be. So people don’t let small decisions make you down and stay back go for it if it meeans a lot to you of getting where you need to be.

Aight aigh i’m done i’ll see you peeps next week with more me talking and you reading but as i said i want you guys to talk to me i would like to listen and if you need anyhelp and i can help i love that. I would like to get better with my writing skills and actually be able to say things in a better way for you guys and help you as well through my own experiences x ❤

Check my insta if you like to contact me as well there as contact details on my page xxx

loads of love



Hey heyyyyyy

How’s everyone been? good bad? hope is good and less bad. I know i have said i’ll be writing 2 days a week but it has been reallyy busy with work and other things that i had to do. So i’m deeply sorry that i havent actually wrote for a while to whoever is actually reading my blogs. I was saying on my last blogs that is good to keep a routine but always maintain yourself you know but it is really hard sometimes when you got loads of things in your head and stuff.

However today i would like to talk how can you have an affect to yourself and how INSIPARTION from you affects other peoples lives. What do i mean with that well last few weeks maybe a month ago i was talking with my cousin that last time i’ve seen her was probably like 13 years ago just because i stopped going to my other country that i’m from but didnt stop me from keeping in contact with her. Since day one we started talking with my cousin she always kept me believing that she is strong and she will do her best to show that no matter what. So she works and studies at the same time but she has the ”benefits” of living home, which lets be honest its not bad but is not great either cause of the circumstances she wont be as independent s she needs to be and that’s what brings me to inspiration.

She was telling me that she felt quite down of something that personally happen to her which its medical but not as but as you think it was a bit bad but it shouldnt actually affected her as a person that much, but that actually brought her mentally really down to loose her motivation of her goal in life to be able to be her and that made me sad that i heard that from her she always seemed really strong and powerful person to me especially for family, friends and life. So i actually i wasn’t prepared lets say how to make her feel better cause in life when something gets you down its always nice to have someone to support you and i’m always good with words of making people feel better hence why i started this blog mainly. But because is my cousin and all the problems she had when she was younger was mostly similar to mine and we kinda got it though together but this one was a bit different it was kinda about image lets say. Soo, i just dont think what people would say or dont care about it and stuff but that didn’t actually work cause people always talk no matter what and always make you feel sad about it.

No matter what tho what i realized is she lost her motivation of been strong , and i told her the cousin i know and i kinda grow up with even tho from miles away its not the same cousin i knew in a way to make her understand that she got down but she CAN get up again she’s the person i look up for from that side of my family she’s the person that is strong and will do good in her life no matter what. But that didn’t affect her only it affect me and actually inspired both sides because her motivation is more strong then mine and that affects me that she wants to do good in her life so i do good in my life.

Which thats where i don’t want to let her down cause looks up on me and i look up on her so we both need each others motivation and inspiration of aura cause that’s how you actually make difference of making peoples life better. Making people gain their motivation of their goals you know. And that’s where i come in this i loose my inspiration most of the times and that’s because of one days problem that just stays there forever but as sooon as you realize it should just be one minute and that’s it you will make it better what you believe you can achieve you will.

In conclusion life should be all about inspiring one and other for the better we shouldnt let the other people down is all about moving up a level at the time.

SO peep that’s all i wanted to say today i know its not the most inspiring thing that i said because if you go online you will find loaaads of other good participation talks that makes people believe which i do recommend you search but at the same time i’m just telling you a personal experience of how you can make people believe.

i’ll see you peep in few days who ever wants to talk to me just email me on the contact details and i’ll reply or just go on my instragram @psychothinker081 and chat to me. i’m here to listen —->

holidays mode off/on.

Hello there guys,

I’m really sorry i havent been writing for a while, i have had a lot of work after new year and i was trying to save some money for my holidays.

Work is as always tiring but lovely, the days before i was to go to my holidays i was trying to get all my duties i had on time so after i come back i didnt had to. Unfortunately i didn’t manage to do all of them where then i hoped that the other 2 colleagues would finish the jobs, but of course they didn’t they were too busy doing nothing. I’m not saying this as a bad thing but in a work environment you will get the people that will do everything or the people that are lazy.

Any how i came back all the hard work i’ve done was worse then when i left it. Work doesnt always appreciate what you do for them even tho you do get paid to do it, its a place you work you have to keep it clean ya know, you have to be able to work in a environment that is clean and tidy. Obviously it always depends of what kind of work you do i guess, but as a hospitality person it should be better.

Enough with work tho i would like to talk about my trip. I went again for 5 days in Amsterdam where mostly everything is legal, i havent done the crazy stuff as everyone else does but i realized when something is legal you dont want it as much as you think you do, i mean i still smoke sometimes but i only smoke it to go to sleep or to just relax on a day off or something but there is an environment of working on it, its nice the fact that it motivates them to do that but i don’t think i would be able to even to that. I got really impress with how everything works and is, the system is nice but everyone is so i’m not even sure if that’s the word i want to use for this, like kind to you but stabbing you on the back after you leave, i feel majority of them is a bit more fake then you think about even tho they have a good system, free spirit lets say it and do whatever they like but its just mostly for the tourist i guess.

However, its only this that i find negative for Amsterdam, the rest of it was great. I went with my childhood best friend which it’s always a kinda last minute decision with us we decide few places and then just book it, i love the fact that we do that to be honest. She’s a photographer not a professional its more like a hobby but she’s actually really good at it, i will leave a link on the bottom if you like to check her work out.

Anyway, i think from all the trip the most impressive place we went was Anne Franks house which that was really breath taking for how many people had to live in such a small space and hide all day and night and not to  been seen it was quite scary i could say i don’t think i would want to be in that situation and i feel bless that i never had to go through this in my entire life. This i could say was the best trip ever i didn’t see a lot of historic places or museums mostly i it was Anne franks house , and the Zaanse Schans amazing little village , really really cold to be honest but beautiful, calming  and peaceful not with the tourist around of course but the fact of living in that place next to the water all green around is nice.

I dont think i regret any moment of my trip with my best friend , we are a bit different but i like that we are not too different we have different mind sets in some ways but its just the way we grown i guess.

Hey i know its nothing special this post but i just wanted to say how i was the last couple days as i hope you guys will text me and tell me how you are doing. I hope everything is fine and if its not there’s always a solution about anything, dont let it distract you. 

p.s. here’s her instagram

loads of love guys




Well, Happy New Year guys  😀

I Hope everyone had a good new years even if they didnt spend it with the loved ones that they expected but still had a good time. Sooooo…. i cannot believe we are in 2019 time pass so quickly it feels like yesterday it was 2008 like ITS CRAZY.

Every year it feels like its getting more scary then ever, the thought that we get older and that we are trying to achieve our goals to leave a mark on this earth is so crazy terrifying. Us human beings are trying everyday every moment and second in our life to achieve or get somewhere up , which it makes total sense the way we live the way us as society are. Everyone keeps telling me we only have one life better live it well, as the quote says “we live everyday but die once”, so until that day make the best of it.

And here it is my most horrifying fear is death, We’re afraid of our own death (so much so that it’s the greatest fear of all), afraid of losing our loved ones, afraid of losing our possessions, and afraid of our current life being turned upside down by the loss of a job, special position, or war. We’re also afraid that we’ll fail and afraid that we just aren’t good enough. And that we will end up as being nothing, and that’s where i want to say YOU are YOU it doesnt matter where you get in life, as long as you are happy and balance within yourself that’s all that matters. BUT..

As we all know one day we will die but the most scariest part is the after.. Is there an after life? is it just that we die instantly and that’s it? What is waiting for us after death then? Well, unfortunately i do not have that answer i really wish i did but that’s a question that we can  find an answer either through religion or people that had experienced to death or even scientist it all depends on what you want to believe in, right?! Everyone believes in something even if its nothing.

Fear of death. How do we stop having this fear? I am actually having this thoughts a lot it gets me panic quite often  but i manage to numb myself to not think anything till it goes away. Of course is not the best way cause this fear will always be there until that time comes, i’ve had try to talk about it with a few of my close  friends  and family which they give me the same answer, it’s in life its our nature do not fear it there’s nothing to be afraid. But it doesnt calm my soul to make it stable or relax or accept this. It does not let me go through this fear and be okay with it.

So in my mind i thought Buddhism is a religion that will make you understand life and its meanings and all the fears you have. Its a religion that will actually be able to help you get balance within yourself and within your soul. Although i didnt actually yet have gone to buddhism i’m willing to learn more about it since my knowledge about it is so little just because i grew up with 2 religions muslim and christianity which i learn a lot different ways from both religions it just didnt work with me, it felt like it was more do this so u can get to paradise. Since then i became agnostic i havent had any specific religion that i believed in and i think now its the time to actually say i think i found the one that would help me get that balance.

To sum it up i will be searching online about it and try to figure to how to get to that point of life even with meditation to get thaaaat stage theee stage. and as i said i do not know much about it but i will learn more now, and if you feel like you want to talk about this specific subject or tell me your fears i would happily be there to listen even to try help if i can. Also if anyone believes in Buddhism and they are able to give me  a little help with it that would be great, i will be searching online as well but is always better to gain some knowledge from another person that knows it better rather online.

Thankyou guys for listening it feels nice saying it out loud, i never actually said my biggest fear to any random person.



Foggy moon..

Hey guys,

Sorry guys i havent wrote for a week i did work loads and i didnt really had time to finish my post, i hope you all understand xx

And how everyones christmas went ?! was it nice, if yes im glad it was, if not dont take it personally days like this will pass straight away there’s nothing stopping to have a good day the very next day. Again tho dont worry Lets all hope and pray that 2019 will be better for all of us.

I’m not gonna start with the new year new me, is all bullshit either you start becoming a new person from any time of the year or you just dont, that’s how it goes. Main reason i wrote that title is that obviously holiday season is always family time season, which i get everyone wants to spend time with their family as  i like spending time with my family as well until i came here but it doesnt necessary mean i need to spend it with them everytime. I feel like people dont understand the part of enjoying the company of their loneliness, they all get depress and and feeling lonely and low and it goes on and on..but

Today i’m here to make you understand what means to be ‘lonely in your own comfort zone’. And here it goes for example, i’m the type of person that socializes a lot with people i like having people around but at the same time when is me time is just me time, i dont care if i go to the coffee shop sit down have a coffee by myself or to the bar or wherever you can think of.  What do i mean with that is i like to enjoy my time as long as i want too what i mean by that is the example that i gave for the coffee i like to go to the coffee shop order my coffee either get a book or listen to music or even either of those just chill but sit at the coffee shop as long as i feel like (obviously before it closes haha) but i can stay from 1hr to 4hrs, i might be by myself but i dont have to socialize i like just chillin even when they are people around.

Another example is when you are home and you dont feel like seen people that’s even better you can be productive in your house or just be lazy and chill, anything you want to do you can do it.  The main thing if you dont have to or cant for any reason to socialize with people sometimes as in like some of your friends are really busy or you are away from home, its okay to enjoy your time by yourself.

In conclusion every time you feel lonely cause you think you feel lonely dont, you got YOU. You is what makes you wake up everyday and be who you are, YOU is the person that has the chance of living and enjoy life, enjoy your alone time to be depress, we humans have to socialize but we need our time as well (:

Well i hope you all have a good new year, spending it the way you like it and enjoy everyminute , loads of love



fading into routine..

GREETINGS MY FELLOW FRIENDS , (sorry i know sound weird i just dont know what’s the right greeting for me)

How are you guys been ? as i said on my last post i will be posting 2 times a week. So here i am again, ready to tell you my thoughts. As you can see the title is “fading into  routine” which lets be honest who doesnt?!

The thing is i always say to myself dont get caught to the routine, you can do anything you want no matter how tired you are from work, or school  or anything else. Im the type of person that likes to be organized and keep everything in order at least the way i live but for example my plans this Christmas didnt go exactly the way i planned..:

  1. I’m not going home for christmas
  2. i only have 3 days off from work so that means i cant really go home and
  3. last one because i dont really mind spending christmas where i am

Although i dont have a lot of friends that are here at the moment only few but that doesnt matter much, anyway as i was saying Christmaaaaaaas...(the most wonderful time OF THE YEAAAR “wing wing”) i managed this year to get all the presents i wanted to be prepared  for as in wrapping them putting them under the tree, which obviously not everyone is on time with gifts and getting prepared (Lets be honest we all buy presents the last minute) but this days i have been working soo much that  i got to that point of finishing work and going home to sleep straight away and this has been going for few months obviously but this days is more intense  cause is christmas,  of serving and making other people happy which P.S. i love doing this job, but thats not the problem the thing is that people even on christmas time can be more cruel then ever because is christmas they expect EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT! But that doesnt work like that it should be more about us what i mean is like they should be more patient with us serving them because you know this time of the year its going to be super busy and we all know it so you have to be understanding and be more loving. Because I as an just a simple employee that works in a coffee shop i spend my days and my time doing what i like and giving you what you want but with you not be patient doesnt help anything it makes everything worse .AND THEN i realized i wasted so much energy and time instead of focusing to keep my self in balance and active after work, i always surround my self with work everything has to be based on work. It shouldnt be like that, i should literally be focus on me see what i want to do. Do the things i like or organize myself with what i want, i keep letting myself down on things i wanted to start or i just started half way through cause i kept focusing on one thing instead of multiple things and keeping balance. That’s why it makes me wonder sometimes why do i get caught up so fast in my routine?! and the answer is i keep letting myself getting tired and down mentally but not in a depress way, in a way of shutting ur brain after a long day and just blacking out which that leaves us in conclusion not wanting to do anything after work or school etc.

But no fear my fellow friends all we gotta do is focus on us  and yes i know you will say its hard sometimes to focus on YOU it makes total sense i understand but your reality is worth trying for YOU, i know there are people that actually do focus on their selfs after work and i admire that so much , i admire the strength  that they have and still believe in their selfs and not  actually  been caught into their routine which is the main thing in our life these days. For us tho the ones that always keep getting to the routine that dont want to , always write a note to yourself to keep it balance and not let yourself down.


Thankyou guys for listening and hearing my thoughts if some of you can relate i hope you will be able to realize that the routine is not the important part of our life, is US.

P.S.  last thing i have to say one of the main reason i decided to start the blog is about expressing myself to you guys and knowing there are people that still read and listen or want to be listened in this stream of life. And finally be able to get out of my own routine, cause my routine has got me home work home. I would like to improve myself as i hope you guys do as well (:

loads of love



Sooooo.. Hello there my fellow friends,

I started blogging on 2013 but then i stopped cause i realized how baaaad i was at writing. But recently i was having this deep conversation with my friend about life and how we can save  our selfs as in not getting down and always keep it together and obviously try to achieve our goals. So during our conversation she turns and says to me why not start a blog to share with people my advice and try to help them….for a minute i thought about it and i said naah you joking, then i thought about it a bit more and said you know what ?!WHY NOT i’ll give a try! I have seen the way i do influence people with what i say or with what i do, what i always say to them is “You don’t always have to listen to me but an extra opinion wont hurt, in the end of the day you will choose what you truly want no matter what.”

So for today i just wanted to introduce myself to you guys and let you know even tho we do not know each other i am here to at least advice you with my experience to not keep your self down. Cause as one person said which im actually not sure who said “The moon is a reminder no matter what phase you are in, you are still whole.”

Wanted to say i’ll be posting every 2 weeks not sure which days yet but i will let you know. This was just an introduction of what am i going to talk about mostly.

Thankyou guys for listening, i’m here to listen mostly but advice as well.