……2019

Well, Happy New Year guys  😀

I Hope everyone had a good new years even if they didnt spend it with the loved ones that they expected but still had a good time. Sooooo…. i cannot believe we are in 2019 time pass so quickly it feels like yesterday it was 2008 like ITS CRAZY.

Every year it feels like its getting more scary then ever, the thought that we get older and that we are trying to achieve our goals to leave a mark on this earth is so crazy terrifying. Us human beings are trying everyday every moment and second in our life to achieve or get somewhere up , which it makes total sense the way we live the way us as society are. Everyone keeps telling me we only have one life better live it well, as the quote says “we live everyday but die once”, so until that day make the best of it.

And here it is my most horrifying fear is death, We’re afraid of our own death (so much so that it’s the greatest fear of all), afraid of losing our loved ones, afraid of losing our possessions, and afraid of our current life being turned upside down by the loss of a job, special position, or war. We’re also afraid that we’ll fail and afraid that we just aren’t good enough. And that we will end up as being nothing, and that’s where i want to say YOU are YOU it doesnt matter where you get in life, as long as you are happy and balance within yourself that’s all that matters. BUT..

As we all know one day we will die but the most scariest part is the after.. Is there an after life? is it just that we die instantly and that’s it? What is waiting for us after death then? Well, unfortunately i do not have that answer i really wish i did but that’s a question that we can  find an answer either through religion or people that had experienced to death or even scientist it all depends on what you want to believe in, right?! Everyone believes in something even if its nothing.

Fear of death. How do we stop having this fear? I am actually having this thoughts a lot it gets me panic quite often  but i manage to numb myself to not think anything till it goes away. Of course is not the best way cause this fear will always be there until that time comes, i’ve had try to talk about it with a few of my close  friends  and family which they give me the same answer, it’s in life its our nature do not fear it there’s nothing to be afraid. But it doesnt calm my soul to make it stable or relax or accept this. It does not let me go through this fear and be okay with it.

So in my mind i thought Buddhism is a religion that will make you understand life and its meanings and all the fears you have. Its a religion that will actually be able to help you get balance within yourself and within your soul. Although i didnt actually yet have gone to buddhism i’m willing to learn more about it since my knowledge about it is so little just because i grew up with 2 religions muslim and christianity which i learn a lot different ways from both religions it just didnt work with me, it felt like it was more do this so u can get to paradise. Since then i became agnostic i havent had any specific religion that i believed in and i think now its the time to actually say i think i found the one that would help me get that balance.

To sum it up i will be searching online about it and try to figure to how to get to that point of life even with meditation to get thaaaat stage theee stage. and as i said i do not know much about it but i will learn more now, and if you feel like you want to talk about this specific subject or tell me your fears i would happily be there to listen even to try help if i can. Also if anyone believes in Buddhism and they are able to give me  a little help with it that would be great, i will be searching online as well but is always better to gain some knowledge from another person that knows it better rather online.

Thankyou guys for listening it feels nice saying it out loud, i never actually said my biggest fear to any random person.

IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ALIVE.

peace.

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